On secrets…

The truth about secrets is it starts off being exciting and innocuous, but it ends up weighing heavily on you, and over time it leaves an after taste that wasn’t even worth it to begin with. It also comes with an unspoken element of shame associated with it.

By design, secrets is meant to exclude others, and the big problem with it is how it becomes a burden, where one needs to constantly be aware of what they can and cannot say to certain people for the fear of revealing the contents of your secret.

It makes me wonder how this is different from lying.

Life has this quality of being unpredictable, it can change in a blink, and this is true even for the people in our lives, and the last thing anyone should have to do is edit and restrict what is being said, for the fear for being found out. If tomorrow you won’t know someone anymore, true closure is knowing that you knew them (for the good, bad and everything else), and not have doubts about every single thing they said or did.

Imagine if people had the courage to be exactly themselves, without having to keep secrets.. Yes, a lot of people around us won’t appreciate it, we may get a lot of eye-rolls, and a lot of derision, but are we seriously delusional enough to think that there aren’t people who already do that anyway, regardless of who we are? Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we gave ourselves permission to be our truest selves, without the shame or fear or rejection?

I will not keep or be anyone’s secret.

Until next time, lets not have any more secrets..

xo

CatchLight – God’s own Country

Still hungover from my recent trip to Kerala which is a south Indian state more popularly known as God’s own country. It truly is a beautiful place, the weather is lovely, the food is yummy..

Here are some of my favorite clicks from my trip:

I will definitely be going back.

Until next time..

xo

QOTD: On dignity

Something has been niggling on the back of my mind ever since my trip, and that is how sometimes people are awful for no reason, just like sometimes people are kind for no reason at all, both of these have a way of taking your breath away…

I’m a big believer of the Universe sending signals and moments of synchronicity when you feel like you’re perfectly in-sync with the cosmos. And finding this Quote makes me feel like this is the Universe’s way of soothing my frayed nerves. Hope you like it as much as I do.

One’s dignity may be assaulted, vandalized and cruelly mocked, but cannot be taken away unless it is surrendered.

 Michael J. Fox, Words of Wisdom (Volume 54)

Until next time..

xo

Life Lessons – On being gracious

Sometimes life sends you moments that test your patience to the core. This past week, I attended a destination wedding and encountered the most atrocious behavior from the host himself.

The incident itself was – catching the father of the bride roll his eyes at me when I was talking to the groom and the father of the groom – this may not seem like a big deal to most, but to me (someone who rarely attends large family functions, simply because I feel like life is too short to waste it on formalities and hate the idea of spending time with toxic people), this felt like a slap in the face.

My first reaction was shock! That someone who is a host and who is the same someone who came to my doorstep to invite me to be part of this wedding did this. I mean seriously, if this man held me in such contempt, why did he even bother to invite me. I would have been happier not being part of such “festivities” at all.  Also the fact that this man is twice my age, but did not have the grace to treat his guests right.

As is imaginable, I was hopping mad, I looked up tickets to go back home the following day, I ranted and bitched about how insulted I felt, I swore that I will never allow myself to see this man again, because I don’t like to tolerate bad behavior (I know no one does), which essentially teaches people that it is okay to treat you badly, and make them believe that they can get away with it.

Once my anger subsided (somewhat), my first thought was, this is definitely a lesson from the cosmos for me, on how not to be, on being more selective on the people I allow into my life, or experiences that I invite.

Sometimes life throws the scum of the earth in your face just to teach you to be gracious, and make you more humble, at least this is what I tell myself when these kinds of things happen. It is easier to believe this as opposed to people are just inherently bad!

In hindsight, I know that it would have taken my only one second to call him out, or to respond to the eye-roll with a cutting remark, but the only thing that would have done is prove that I am no better that him. And that will never happen.

As for myself, the more bad I encounter, the more I resolve to be better, and to rise above the petty. I once read something that has impacted me deeply – to argue with a fool is like jumping in the slush and wrestling a pig, all that happens is you get dirty and the pig actually enjoys itself – It is NOT worth it.

On a parting note, I truly hope this man gets exactly what he deserves, that is my prayer for him.

I will wear this insult as a badge of honor, a reminder to myself to always strive for grace.

Until next time, have a happy Sunday.

xo

Dear Universe

When I see the date stamps on my last 10 posts, there is one thing I notice (and I am not proud of it), and that is how there are times when I am writing machine, and other times when I am completely MIA months on end. If there is one thing I wish to work on, it is to be more consistent with writing. Good, bad or ugly, just to be able to write. I will try to be better and take more time to write. If I am honest with myself, I can’t hep but admit my non-writing phases are never because I have no time, or nothing to write about or the glamorous writers block, but its mainly because I sometimes wonder what my writing really means to me. Do I write to impact, do I write only as a cathartic exercise, do I have a message for the world.. I wonder.

Like so many people who write, I too write so I can express my deepest thoughts, my fears and my hopes. Writing gives me an outlet like no other form of art (or communication), with no interruptions, with no need to polish my emotions with pretty words, and hope that what I said and whats understood have some resemblance to each other. We all after all live believing that the world around is as we are. But what does it all really mean.

In my 20+ years here, I have had multiple existential (for the lack of a better word) crises. So many times I’ve stopped dead in my tracks just to wonder about what life really means. What it means to be alive as opposed to merely existing, what it means to be in sync with the cosmos, what it means when we get hurt, or when we encounter the ugliness of this world, when we encounter undeserved rudeness, when we are given what we feel was undeserved..

What could all this mean, what role do I play, is it enough to stand my ground when the world is hell bent on telling me I am living my life wrong.

I find myself often wondering about what it is I really want, the life I want, the things, the aspirations, what exactly does this mean to me?

So for today, there are no answers, at least none that I can find within. Only questions which I’m sending out to the universe, with a strange certainty that one day all the dots will connect.

Until then, more questions..🙂

xo

The illusion of connectivity

I have always joked that in my house we are majorly outnumbered by technology. We are 3 people with 4 phones, 2 tablets, 2 e-reader devices, 2 televisions, 4 laptops, 4 power banks, and countless number of chargers and wires and many many more things that I can’t even remember or think about right now.

There are plenty of times I have noticed when all of us are in the same room, but apparently not in the same world, each one on different social media getting “liked” by people in other rooms who are oblivious to the presence of people in the rooms they are in.

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Its always been a love-hate between me and technology. While I love that it makes a lot of things easy, like looking for information, sharing news, communicating in real time, quick and easy ways to share your thoughts with people across the world, reconnecting with friends you’ve lost touch with, share your talent, start a business, shop, and many more, but the downside is definitely the illusion of connectivity.

When did it become enough to “like” a photo or adding a comment under a post instead of a genuine conversation. The 21st century, that’s when!😉 Sometimes I feel we live in a world that is over connected and completely disconnected.

A lot of people know me ONLY on social media, which is maybe 2% (or less) of the RL me, because for the most part I’m here only for pictures of puppies, baby elephants and high heels..😀

Its a little sad that we all have hundreds or even thousands of friends and followers on social media and barely a handful of people to hang out with in real life. When did the illusion take over and make us believe this is enough?

I obviously get the irony of this post, and the fact that it is being shared on the same social media that I seem to be dissing, and obviously perpetuating the same illusion I’m writing about. (I get it)

But my “radical” idea for this weekend is to actually unplug and do something real, paint or read a book which is made of paper, dance till my legs grow tired, and maybe (just maybe, if I’m really lucky) have a real conversation with another person who has also unplugged, about everything and nothing, and just sit on the rooftop and watch the world speed away underneath.

Some of my favorite moments have no digital footprints, they have been moments which were shared when no one thought to “check-in” or take photos or post a clever post, but will definitely be remembered longer. Conversations which didn’t involve typing into a little box, where expressions did not need punctuation marks. Conversations which were actually heard, the light in our eyes bright enough to light up the world, holding hands and noticing the veins that run through our hands, or the watches or jewelry, or the painted nails. Singing out loud, (even better) being serenaded *sigh* or dancing like no one was watching (there’s a good chance no one was, everyone was glued to their phones). oh they were really real, those moments may not have gotten any likes, but they sure as hell got a lot of love.

Until next time.. Enjoy the illusion, I know I will😉

xo

Working title- Second chances

Just had a long conversation with an old friend who I haven’t been in touch with in a while, and found out that he had gotten really sick in the recent past. Thankfully he is now recovering quite well. Heavens know that one of my favorite lines to use is Life is too short… But it takes moments like these to really make me stop and take notice.
 
I know the beauty of life is that it is transient, but in the face of grief, every second can feel like an eternity, and not all of us are lucky enough to get a second chance.
 
Note to self- make a better effort to stay in touch with people, cause we never really know when our luck’s about to run out..❤
Until next time, lets try and be a little bit better at staying in touch with our loved ones.
xo