Sometimes when my emotions over-power me, like it has been these part few days, I tend to retreat to my inner self, just to gain clarity, as one of the truest things I’ve learnt in life is not to act or react from a place of heightened emotions, because more often than not, when the emotions settle, our actions or reactions (which have risen from such a state) tend not to be what we are really comfortable with, to begin with… Not only this, actions and reactions from a heightened emotional place seldom get received the way they were intended to. Lose-lose, really!
Hmmm…. I wonder if that makes sense at all, but I have found it to be true for me, so I try to look inward rather than out, when my feelings are in their caffeinated state. That, however is not easy at all… Its a discipline, and it takes everything you have to be quiet, when all you want to do is scream till your inner voices are drowned out.
Ironically enough, certain nasty circumstances also tend to cross my path when I’m already in this state, this is perhaps the universe responding to my energy (go figure). And its only purpose feels like it is out to take what is left.
At times like these, when i feel like, I’ve given something my all, and its still not good enough, and at times when every fiber of my being is hurting, and my soul is in shambles, it helps to remember that I am nothing more than a blip in the universe, which has existed for billions of years before I got here, and will continue to do so billions of years after I leave. ALL that I am going through is meant to play out this way, but also that these circumstances are just momentary, because since I have started writing this post, so much has changed in the universe, be it the planetary movements, the various actions of the billions of people who are cohabiting this earth with me, and closer to home, there is my own state of mind, slowly shifting itself, to be more accepting..
Which only means that, now, and this moment has already started the domino effect of healing, and while I wait for the last piece of the domino to fall, my life and I will undergo a lot of changes, and at the end of it, I can only strive to handle these changes with a bit a grace.
If the grand plan entails that I go through this moment of pain, so be it.
For anyone who is reading this, if there is a sense of hopelessness or pain that is all-consuming, please know that it will pass. One day you will be better because of it… And if you’re scoffing at this statement and wondering about the basis of it, all I can say is, I’ve been there, heck, parts of me are still there, finding strength to still be on my two feet, only because of my faith while the bigger picture, the grand plan, whatever you call it unravels. Hold on, because as we speak, the universe is working to help you, just like it is moving to help me too..
Life: It may take everything you’ve got, but it is worth it!
Hang in there…
Until next time.