One of the turning points of my adult life was definitely reading book, the Secret. It came to me when I was 23, and miserable (I’m sure I’ve recounted that story here before on a few occasions). I know it sounds ridiculous – 23 is pretty much the perfect age (right?), but I was having the worst time of my life, I had very volatile and ugly relationships with the people around me, and the WORST sort of relationship with myself, and my life was a reflection of it as well. And at this time, my sister-in-law (one of the angels in my life!) told me to read the book, she said it is something that would resonate with me, and I took her word and read the book. And my life did a 180! (not even exaggerating)
Since then, I have been a junkie for content on personal development (books, posts, articles & even videos), I was eating it up. I have read many many authors, followed many gurus, made positive affirmations and gratitude a part of my daily schedule. And yet, in certain aspects of my life, I felt “stuck”, in a state of limbo, like I was suspended between 2 dimensions, one which was the past (the negative), and one which was the future (utopia). But then I realized (recently) that that was my biggest mistake. Utopia is not some distant future event, it is NOW. Life is NOW. And if I kept waiting for the perfect life which is going to manifest in the future, it will always be in the future… My mind was blown. What a rookie mistake, no?
Anyway, we all learn this in our own time, in our own way, that is the beauty of the Law of Attraction (LOA). So since a few weeks now, I am more focused on the blessings I already have now, the love around me, the abundance that is already present in my life.
One very small example I can give you (about my self-sabotage of always waiting for future manifestation) is about my body image and how it changed. I’ve had a very unhappy relationship with my body (pretty much all my life), like I’ve always been wishing to be taller or skinnier, or have a flat stomach, longer hair, clearer skin (you get the drill), and this used to be the constant self-talk. That I am not skinny enough, that I am not fit enough or whatever, and that would push me to workout (yoga) with a vengeance, I was on a self imposed rice-free diet, I had stopped eating rice for a good 8 years, and yet, I was not happy with the results, I was always in anticipation of a future where my body will look perfect, and guess what – the future was always in the future.
So here is what I did to change that – I changed the tune in my head, and started eating rice again. I started viewing food as a way to nourish my body and exercise as a way to keep my body fit and capable of living my best life, and used the most loving kind words for my body. And I kid you not, I haven’t put on any weight (if anything I feel like I’m losing that stubborn belly fat), people who have met me recently can’t believe how skinny I look, they say I walk taller, and that I look more beautiful (perhaps because I no longer have an unhealthy self-talk).
You don’t attract what you want, but you attract who you are!
This is ONLY one aspect of my life. When I changed my perception of myself, I changed my reality. Of course, like everything, this didn’t happen with one action, it is about telling yourself that you are beautiful every day, initially you may not believe it, because we are constantly surrounded by messaging that tells us otherwise. So don’t be too hard on yourself if you feel like the new tune in your head is a lie. Its okay. Tell yourself the new message constantly, find things about yourself or your life that you love and let it drown out the old message of “I am not pretty” “I am fat” “I am not enough” etc., instead tell yourself “I am blessed”, “I am loved”, “I am a miracle magnet”, “I am enough” (and anything else you want).
And to make this exercise even more effective, try and reflect on the incident/s that made to believe the old self-talk, for me, I could narrow it down to a few incidents where people made me feel like I wasn’t “good enough” or “pretty enough”, and not being enough became my tune, so guess what, I attracted people and circumstances that reinforced it, and no matter how much I tried to overcome it, I couldn’t do it, because the most prominent voice in my head constantly told me that I was not enough, which shaped my relationships as well, I not only felt inadequate, I felt I had to “put up with” all kinds of unhealthy behavior because I believed I deserved it. Basically my relationship with myself was a reflection of the relationships I had with other people.
Here is an exercise you can try which will take about 2 minutes –
When you feel the negative self talk, stop whatever you are doing, take 2 or 3 long deep breaths, once your body is well oxygenated, stand in front of a mirror, and look at yourself, really look at your face, your hair, your teeth, your eyes, just look at the person before you and smile, your mood will change, do this often enough and the tone of your self-talk will change. And don’t take my word for it, Dr. Robert Zajonc, a renowned psychologist, believed facial action leads to changes in mood, and in a 1989 study he found that participants who watched themselves smile in a mirror experienced a greater boost in mood than those who simply smiled.
To attract the best the world has to offer, we must become the best, paradoxical, I know. If you want to get what you want, you must truly believe you deserve it. And that has been one of my biggest lessons in LOA this month. Do share your lessons, tips & tricks on LOA, I would love to hear them.
Peace & Love