Crowning glory

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Crowning Glory

All my life, one of my favorite things about myself has been my hair. Its always been easy to manage, despite all the damaging experiments I’ve tried on it. After all, the fact that it has survived a Perm, and still continues to shine thrills me to no end. Of course, like anything, it gets its share of TLC.

Life Hack for confidence: If there’s something you love about yourself, take care of it. Nurture it. Take pride in it. Love it. And it will be a gateway to find more things you like (love!) about yourself. Voila… Confidence!

Until next time.

xo
M

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Confidence

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Confidence

I’m a firm believer of self-love, and a (very) healthy self-esteem, but unfortunately we are taught to not embrace that because it is often construed as conceit. It takes us years (unfortunately some of us take decades) to realize that a lack of self-love can be the most destructive, awful thing you can do to yourself. It makes you look outside (of yourself) for validation, making us hopeless people-pleasers (Eewww). Take it from me “People” are never pleased, you can do every single thing that someone wants, and they’ll still find a way to be unhappy or find reasons to tell you that you aren’t good enough.

Once you get used to embracing yourself, flaws and all, you can never go back.

Of course, this is not to say that we ignore our flaws, or genuine problem areas, and only “act” fabulous. Its takes a level of awareness to really appreciate the unique being you are, and a bit of effort to achieve a certain level of Fabulous.

I’ve struggled with this in the past, because we were always taught to be self-deprecating, and when faced with a genuine compliment, instead of a sincere “thank you”, we were taught to deny it and feel very pleased because we were being humble. It reminds me of that line from the movie, Mean Girls, where the mean girls give the new girl a compliment (telling her that she’s pretty) and when she says thank you, they retort with, “oh, so you think you’re pretty”). Ugh, I cringe every time I watch that movie, or real life counterparts of that scene.

I see you “humble” and raise you a “scoff” and an “eye roll”.

Why deny yourself and the rest of the world the fabulous-ness that is you.

I can literally talk about this forever, and never tire of it. But for now, lets take a moment to appreciate how wise young Tom Ford was, and do our best to build ourselves and the people around us.

Until next time.

xo
M

You are so enough

You are so enough!

Have you ever felt inadequate, like no matter how hard you’ve tried or how much good you’ve put into the world, it has somehow fallen short, like you missed the mark by just a bit. Have you ever felt depleted and exhausted because no matter what the efforts are, the results never seem to add up.

Well, welcome to the real world.  Pretty much every human being you have encountered in life has felt this way at some point.  Life can be harsh  & brutal, and when you least expect (or deserve) it.

Lets take the thing almost everyone has issues with – body and body image issues – growing up the beauty standards were that one had to be reed thin and almost androgynous to be considered attractive, and now suddenly the standard is curves curves curves.  Or take Eyebrows, growing up thin eyebrows with crazy high arches were in vogue (leaving you with a perpetual look of surprise) and now its the thick bushy “instagram” eyebrows that are in.  Same with fashion trends, same with beauty, same with values, same with everything.  I can think of many many examples like these, but that’s not the point of this post.  Just when one reaches the “Goal” of what is considered attractive/good/acceptable, the goal posts are moved.

It reminds me of the story of the donkey and the carrot, or the hamster and the wheel.  Basically pointless (on an individual level) and profits for Businesses.

My first question is when did we give away the power to someone else to set these “goals” for us.  How about we make the “goal” accepting what we see in the mirror, and setting realistic (achievable) goals for self-improvement.  Taking back the power.

You see, when you live in a society that constantly tells you that you’re not enough, and therefore not worthy of the things you most desire or aspire.  The biggest form of rebellion comes from realizing you are SO enough!

Its not ALL bad though or a constant battle, Life is also filled with unexpected beauty and kindness (if you still can’t find it, find the nearest mirror), and people who want the best for you, you just have to find your tribe is all.  But before you find your tribe, you have to figure out, accept, and celebrate you.

It took me 20 something years to stop needing validation from other people and realize that I am, in fact, enough (good enough, kind enough, pretty enough, lovely enough, <Enter adjective> enough).  When I liked me (and by like I mean, accept myself fully, as I am), it didn’t matter anymore if anyone else did (or not).

Take it from me, You are SO enough, and don’t let the world tell you otherwise.

I can talk about this forever, but for now have a Happy December!

xo

Effort is sexy!

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Picture Source – Google Images

I’ve started to notice a trend lately of acting apathetic and generously using phrases like, I don’t care or whatever mostly used after things that people actually care about. Since when it is cool to be apathetic.

I tend to take notice when people make an effort to show you they care (in their action rather than just words), when their eyes light up when they talk about things that they are passionate about, when they make an effort to dress well, or take care of themselves because they do care!

The simplest example of this trend is when people don’t make an effort to dress up (appropriately), or wear flip flops anywhere outside a beach. Its no secret, I hate flip flops, I don’t own them, everything about them bothers me, like the *chat* *chat* sound they make, the way it makes ones feet look, the fact that it affects the way one walks etc. Of course, this post is not about my dislike for flip flops. So the rant stops here.

How we dress affects how we carry ourselves, our confidence and consequently how other people treat us. People respect you in direct proportion of how much you respect yourself and how much you respect yourself shows in every aspect of your life, your appearance, your effort.

Wear good clothes, and I don’t mean big brand names or expensive stuff. Iron your clothes, keep them clean and stain-free. Take care of your possessions and treat them with respect. I have recently adopted the Parisian mindset and lifestyle when it comes to my wardrobe, a few quality pieces, shoes and bags which are well made, rather than fast fashion, and it has changed my life. It takes me less time getting ready in the morning and I feel confident every day, because every single day I wear items of clothing and accessories that fit me beautifully or tailored for me and things of lush quality.

Life is too short for wearing flip flops and polyester. It is too short for mediocrity and half-assedness. Live life enthusiastically, like you’re excited to be alive. Lets make dressing well, and putting our best foot forward (whether it is in our profession, friendships, or relationships) cool again. Lets make caring trendy again, because Effort is Sexy!

Peace & Love

xo