Life Lesson – Back to basics

As someone who has been practicing yoga for the last decade, I tend to be very aware of my body, how it reacts to certain things, how it is affected by change in diet, weather, fitness routine, pretty much most things. That’s the thing about Yoga I love most, the awareness it creates. Yes, the flexibility, strength, etc., are all great, but the awareness you have over your body (physical and energy body) is immense.

On December 12th 2016, I had the most rude awakening of my life – I woke up and could not get up and stand up straight, or walk without crying. I had shooting pain in my lower back, and no matter what I tried to do, I could not move. My legs felt like they each weighed a ton, I couldn’t sit, I couldn’t stand, couldn’t lie down in any position other than a fetal position. The only thing that got me through the night was to be heavily sedated, and I saw the doctor the next day to figure out what had gone wrong, and found out that my disc is damaged, and more damage and it could easily have been a slipped disc or a herniated disc. This was something I have to be careful about for the rest of my life.

I asked him how this was even possible, I do yoga! I’m in my 20s! Okay, I work a desk job, but I’m very conscious about talking breaks and stretching, HOW could this have happened??

Very calmly, the Doc told me that this could happen to ANYONE. It doesn’t matter how old/young you are, how fit/unfit you are, etc.

It has been over three months, and my back still hasn’t completely recovered. I still occasionally get shooting pain in my lower back, or sometimes a weird pressure in my lower back. There is now a constant awareness in my body that my back is still recovering. I still cringe at attending long meetings, because I don’t like to sit in chairs too long, I now avoid certain kinds of lounge chairs, I am hyper aware when my back isn’t straight or supported, because anything other than perfect posture, my back makes its presence be known, like a tantrum throwing child trying to get your attention. THIS is not fun!

The back incident (as I now refer to it) was a huge wake up call – because I never expected that I would have back issues, in my 20s (okay Late 20s), it made me so angry, all the rage I didn’t know I had came out to play in those days when I was stuck on my back. It was unfair and I definitely didn’t deserve it!

For 10 days I literally did nothing other than wake up, shower, get dressed, get on the carpet on the floor, took pain medication, slept, ate, and repeated this cycle.

The first few days were pure rage! I was pissed off with life, it felt like I was screaming uncontrollably into the abyss and no one could hear me, no one could help me. I felt alone,  helpless and very angry.

After my anger tired me out, it turned into plain submission (with a hint of helpless sadness), I told myself that I won’t let this pain go to waste. It HAD to mean something. I know that God (at least the one I know, love and believe in) wouldn’t put me through pain so senselessly. It HAD to mean something. I needed it to mean something.

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Image Source – Facebook

But what exactly did all of this mean, what was this meant to teach me?

The back incident gave me a LOT of time to reflect, and one of the conclusions was that maybe I had allowed life to go into auto-pilot mode, and just went with whatever life was sending my way, instead of living more deliberately, so much so that life had to give me a jolt to wake me up!

Now I don’t know if I’m right or not, but I choose to believe that it was for some great piece of wisdom that I had to uncover.

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Image Source – Google Images

Sometimes it is at your lowest point that the most precious lessons are revealed. So what was this too precious lesson that got revealed that I wouldn’t have learnt without pain that put the fear of god in me?

Well here are some of the big ones, at least this is what I’ve come up with so far –

  1. My family will be there for me no matter what – of course, I knew this. But this was a reminder because when my big brother (who is usually very busy), cleared up his day to take me to the hospital; and my mum spend almost all day with me rubbing my back, getting me hot packs for my back and comforting me; and I found out that my dad actually lost sleep over my new health condition. It made me realize how blessed I am, even if I wasn’t fully capable to appreciating it in that moment. I definitely do now.
  2. My body is more fragile than I thought – while the human body is capable of surviving in unimaginable conditions, it actually takes real discipline to keep it in good shape. Damaging it is the easiest thing, and recovering might take the rest of my life.
  3. Life is as unexpected as it is short – we NEVER know what is coming next. It only takes a second of life to make a 180 degree shift, and life as you know it will cease to exist. The impermanence of things is both comforting and unnerving. So enjoy and don’t take life so damn seriously all the time.
  4. Appreciate everything and take nothing for granted – there are people praying from the stuff we take for granted. So always be grateful and cherish life.
  5. Meditation helps with unexpected emotional outbursts (in my case rage) – To me, meditation means to simply be still and silence your mind of constant clatter. It is to simply be present. It isn’t always about chanting and getting into an elusive state of trance. It is to simply be still and let yourself be at balance with the world around. I know it sounds new age-y but it works like magic, it has made me calmer and happier.
  6. Writing about experiences dissipates pain – This makes me want to start a journal (with an actual book and pen).

Obviously there are many more, but I am yet to figure out how to articulate it. Its time to get back to basics, to ignore the external influences, and listen to my inner voice and go back to who I am.

Until next time, be good!

xo

Feliz Navidad <3

 

colorful_christmas_tree-1920x1200Couldn’t sleep a wink last night cause I was so excited it was Christmas, finally… I’ve been waiting for it since last Christmas, just as I do every year..

The mistletoe, the tinsel, the tree, the bells, the songs, old St. Nick, family, miracles, just everything, that’s what I love about this holiday..

This year, I’m spending a few moments in the morning to write this and wish all the good folks on here, and then I’m off, the most coveted present that I’m wishing for is the presence of the people I love more than anything in the world.

And a special shout out to mi corazon, you know who you are, know that I’m wishing for you most of all… Merry Christmas, hero ❤

And i wish the same for you, may you get more than what you wished for.

Merry Christmas, and much Love.

xo

Until we meet again

This song sounds like a goodbye, but when you really listen, you’ll hear differently.

every place I go. I think of you.

every song I sing, I sing for you.

Its impossible to leave behind the ones you carry in your heart. You take them everywhere you go.To the ones we have lost, to the ones who got on that jet plane and left us. To the ones who left without a goodbye, to the ones who we couldn’t have enough time with (time’s never enough, is it ?). I know we will meet again soon..

xo

#2013TaughtMe

Being someone who is super-active on a certain micro-blogging website, for the last few days I have noticed that the hashtag called #2013TaughtMe has been trending worldwide. Everyone is gung-ho about sharing with their followers what the year 2013 has taught them. Needless to say, it didn’t take me too long to jump on this trend bandwagon.

Just today, NOW, I am in the midst of an existential crisis of my own, which is making me question the very foundation of my life, its meaning, its value, just about everything.

As I sit here, in this state of limbo, I can’t help but recall some of the most valuable lessons 2013 has taught me, stuff that got reinforced and How !

Lesson # 1- #2013TaughtMe NEVER to take ANYTHING for granted !

Not the people, not the circumstances, not my health, not the small, seemingly insignificant things (Especially the smaller, “insignificant” things)

Lesson # 2- #2013TaughtMe that not everyone I consider as friends are REALLY my friends.

This is one lesson I learn over and over and over again, and each time, it breaks my heart just as badly as it did the first time. Certain circumstances have hurt me and shaken me to my very core and made me realize that regardless of how much you consider someone to be your friend, they could turnaround and prove you dead-wrong ! The disintegration of any relationship, to me, acts as a reminder to appreciate the ones that I am sure about. And as the years pass, the smaller that list is getting.

Lesson # 3- #2013TaughtMe that sometimes not getting what we want is the best thing !

This one was a toughie.. Its not the easiest thing to do to feel like something great is happening when you don’t get what you want, especially when that certain something is all you can hope for. But when the moment of anguish has passed and life goes on, there will come a day when you can look back, and somehow all the dots connect and everything makes sense, making you realize that the not happening of a certain thing (regardless of how badly you wished for it, at the time) was the best thing that could have happened.

Life somehow always works out… Its weird, But true !!

Lesson # 4- #2013TaughtMe that friendships come ONLY second to FAMILY.

The true ones, we all have at least one of this variety. The truly valuable, truly effortless love for another person who isn’t related to you by blood. The one (or few, if you’re wonderfully blessed) true friend, those that come only once in a lifetime, and once is just enough because these are the kind that stick by your side for the long haul.

These one or two or three (I’m not putting an exact number on this) people come only second to Family. In a certain way, they are family. 🙂

Heaven knows I love them !!!

Lesson # 5- #2013TaughtMe that I would take a Bullet for my family.

My family is the Biggest part of who I am. I owe my existence to my Parents, without them, I would not be here. Everything I am, everything I stand for starts and ends with my family and I couldn’t be more proud !!! And it is exactly this, that will take me far in life. I truly believe it !

Words fall terribly short when it comes to expressing my love and gratitude for my family. I can only try…. The best, most valuable lesson this year taught me is this !!! My Family is the biggest, most powerful force in Me. How can I not be confident ! 🙂

Some of my moments when life has managed to knock me down to my knees, I’ve looked up to find my family, always by my side. No matter what !!

Now if that isn’t something to be grateful for, I don’t know what is.

I love them more than words can ever tell.. One day I will make them proud, I promise !

Lesson # 6- #2013TaughtMe that Love isn’t always like a Disney movie.

Growing up, all I ever wanted to be was a Disney princess (hell, that’s all I want EVEN NOW !!!) But this year has taught me that true love, as perfect as it is, is not like it is in the movies. For one, life isn’t just 3 hours long. “True love’s kiss” doesn’t miraculously solve all of life’s problems, although it makes the hurdles that life throws at us more bearable.

For my true love (for now, lets just call him, the boy in the black suit and blue shirt), I just want to express gratitude that I met him ! I’m truly blessed.

My parents are the family I am blessed with, and he is the family my heart has chosen. I love him with everything I’ve got, unconditionally, without restrictions, without limits, without boundaries.

Life is no disney movie now that I have him, but its wonderful all the same !! 🙂

Lesson # 7- #2013TaughtMe to be unapologetic about my choices.

Its so funny how the people who contribute least to your life are the ones who are the most demanding !!! Realizing that I don’t OWE anyone ANY answers (or anything at all, for that matter) has been one of the most liberating lessons this year has taught me. My choices are mine, My consequences are mine and My life is mine.

Lesson # 8- #2013TaughtMe to Let Go.

The facade of control is the biggest illusion of my life, I am merely a spec in this mighty universe, and its hilarious if I think that I am fully in control of life !

Lesson # 9- #2013TaughtMe that I love the rush of Adrenalin. 

This was the year that I did my first bungee Jump. And boy did I love it !!!! It was the most exhilarating experience of my life ! I LOVED IT and I will definitely be doing more of that in the years to come…

Lesson # 10- #2013TaughtMe that I adore travelling !!!

I knew this all along, but this year reinforced it. I’m going to promise myself that I will do a LOT more of that in the coming years. Travelling, one of life’s bigger pleasures !!!

To live out of a suitcase, to eat yummy food, to see the world, to wear fabulous clothes, to take pretty photos and write, isn’t that the dream !!!! *sigh*

Lesson # 11- #2013TaughtMe that I love to write.

I’ve always known that I love to write, this year re-introduced me to my love of the written word, starting this blog (albeit at the fag end of 2013) has been one of the best things I have done this year. It gives me a thrill when I write. To put my thoughts into words.

One day, and I hope that day isn’t far, I hope that my words inspire someone, affects someone (or many someones 🙂 a girl can dream) even if in the slightest way..

Lesson # 12- #2013TaughtMe that the Big Guy in the Sky is always looking out for me.

This year, I have had numerous almost- accidents, driving in bangalore roads isn’t the easiest thing. But I am grateful that The big guy protected me. My faith in him has never been stronger.

And visiting the Miracle Ganesha temple, not once, but two times gave me answers to the questions that have been haunting me. For that, I have to take the moment to say, Thank You. 🙂

Sometimes its good to just take time to look up at the mighty skies and say thank you !!!

I do 🙂

Lesson # 13- #2013TaughtMe that I am very Morbid.

Not sure if that’s a good thing, but this year has taught me more than ever that life is so beautiful because death is a certainty. I once read somewhere that, the best preparation for death is finding yourself.

What is life, if not a journey of just that… Finding ourselves, finding our passion, finding something that moves us, finding our voice, our calling, our purpose,

After all, our time here in this glorious world is limited, and that might be the only realization some of us need to make life even more beautiful. Really cherish every moment.. Morbid as I sometimes am, I love life.

I’m sure 2013 has taught me many many many more things, if I start to reminisce, I could possibly write a book, but I figured I’d stop at 13… 13 lessons from 2013, has a pretty good ring to it, no ?

For now, I have to get back to the humdrum of life like putting together my outfit worthy of welcoming a brand new year !!! 🙂 Hehehee not complaining at all !

Until next time…

xo

Life Lessons I’ve learnt from The Godfather

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As I write this, I can actually hear the haunting music that plays at the opening scene of this movie, but as an avid reader and lover of written words, of course, I love the book more. The Godfather by Mario Puzo is one of those rare books that has affected millions, if not billions of people and I can proudly proclaim that I am definitely one of them.. I read this book for the first time when I was 13 years old and have probably re read it hundreds of times since. Sometimes when I’m down, I just open the book to a random page and start reading it. It has so many quotes, so many characters and oh so many things to fall in love with. But beyond all that it has lessons for life.

Lesson #1. I’m gonna make him an offer he can’t refuse

Perhaps the most cliched line in the history of time, but this is one the most valuable things I have learnt. No one likes hearing “No”, no one likes rejection, and if there’s only one lesson to be learnt from this, it is this, make yourself indispensable, be it in business, a job or with family, friends and loved ones. Take the time and make the effort it will be worth it.

Godfather Poster Offer Quote

Lesson #2. Never tell anyone outside of your family what you are thinking

Family is the most important thing, EVER! There is nothing more important than family. Friends come a close second and the Godfather knew this. But when it comes to family and loyalty, I don’t think I can say anything that hasn’t already been said. It is good advice though, cause often times we get blindsided by smooth-talkers that lead us on to believe that they care, when they really might not. Know who you can trust and build those relationships, Its the most valuable wealth to accumulate.

Lesson #3. Don’t ever take sides against the family

Just like the Don before him, Michael also knew this as one of the cardinal rules of life. This lesson is an extension of the previous one. In life, the only people who are capable of unconditional and selfless love is family, and taking sides against them is a really unforgivable error of judgment. It is also a Bit of a no-brainer,  really!! Never take sides against family. Just don’t!

Lesson #4. “A man who doesn’t spend time with his family can never be a real man”- Don Vito Corleone

If you want to test the true character of a man, see how he treats his family.. This book is especially great in helping you decide how to judge a man because it shows you so many contrasting characters like Carlo Rizzi who habitually beats his wife which eventually gets him killed, well that and the betrayal. And then there are remarkable men like Don Vito, Micheal, Tom and Sonny who are Men who have set standards to live up to.

Notice how a man treats his family and you will know if you can trust him. Its really that simple.

Lesson #5. It wasn’t personal…. Except, it is ALWAYS personal!

“It was business, don’t take it personal”, another iconic line that has featured in this book numerous times, But when you read it for the soul and spirit of what this means, you know that the secret to Don Vito’s power was that he took a genuine interest in helping each person who came to him, he took it personally, and he took it to heart. “Accidents don’t happen to people who take accidents as a personal insult” this was said about the great Don Vito by his son Micheal, when he talks about taking things personal. In life, do everything with all your heart or don’t do it at all. There are many things in life that are mediocre, make sure your actions aren’t one of them.

The trick to doing this is to do everything with love. Doing things out of spite or hatred is counter productive and often useless.. Make sure all your actions stem from Love and it automatically becomes personal.

There are many many more lessons, many lines which have impacted me profoundly and many characteristics embodied by these fictional characters that make me wish that they were real and talking about each and every one of them would make this post a never ending one.

Until next time..

xo