Effloresce23

Chronicling my thoughts, one post at a time..


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For the Love of Love !!

One of the most tragic thing ever is when a person becomes so busy making a living that he forgets to make a life… I’m beginning to notice this very saddening trend way too often among my friends, I guess that’s just the norm in any group of 20-somethings, Isn’t it so true that each of us is more competitive and ambitious than the next. We all want better lives, better jobs, bigger promotions, bigger pay, bigger cars, better toys, bigger houses, to live in big cities and race against the clock, live faster, and why not !!!!.. For the most part, we are all so caught up in this race that we forget that there’s something more important we are missing out on and how..

Having never been a “workaholic” (not even remotely so), I’ve always been clear that a job is just that… A job… Its not (and will never be) my whole life. Its part of life, a pretty big part, perhaps, but never my whole life. Work is like Seasoning, it makes the food taste yummy, but try eating just the seasoning…. Can’t do it, can you ?? Work is great and very required for a “yummier” life (so to speak), I feel a bigger sense of Loyalty to people, and isn’t that how it should be. But I’m increasingly finding myself feeling caught up by it.. 

Neither am I one of those “pseudo philosophical” people who attribute all the evils in the world to Money. Someone once told me (and quite accurately so) that the only people who claim that money doesn’t buy happiness are the ones who don’t have any.. Don’t let anyone kid you, Money is very important, it makes life comfortable, it gives you choices that you won’t have if you don’t have money. I’m possibly (definitely) one of the most materialistic people there is.. But money in itself is never enough

In our final moments, we don’t wonder about our bank accounts or how our bosses perceive us, or whether the people in our lives are impressed by our swanky new toys… Having had two very close brushes with death in the recent past, near accidents that would’ve been fatal which were missed by a fraction of a second and by what I believe to be the big guy in the sky looking out for me, I can promise you, that those things (I am so busy chasing after) weren’t even on my mind.. I didn’t worry about or fear death either. Death, after all is an inevitability that makes life more meaningful (It isn’t intended to scare the living day-lights out of us…. It just is.. Reality).. THE only thought that consumed my mind was, did I love enough… Do the people I love know that I love them. Because, in the end, the only thing that matters is love.

It’s amusing (now) to remember that an old friend of mine was always very put off by how morbid I can be sometimes. And I don’t hold grudges about that either.. After all, I’m too busy being in love with the people I love to waste any time holding grudges or being angry about things I can’t change..

Sometimes I blame Technology for making life too convenient, we seem to think its okay not to make an effort anymore. I’m connected to my closest friends on every social media platform there is, except in reality (for the most part, at least…. I tend to be slightly dramatic sometimes 😉 okay okay !!! Very dramatic, always…)..

I remember the time when I knew all my friends telephone numbers without even having to look at a phone-book and I’d pick up the phone, simply because it rang, not knowing who it could be, screening calls was unheard of. Back then, socializing meant meeting over a cup of coffee (Hahaha, I’m not as OLD as I sound), Now, my friends and I see each other on the virtual playground, notifications are the way to know that the conversation is still on, Yes, its convenient, yes, it saves a LOT of time and efforts, Yes, it is the easy way out.. And why else wouldn’t it be the most preferred thing in the world, since we are all always so busy anyway…

I was chatting with my best friend this morning, and we realized that its been rather long since we met, every time we make plans, work or something else comes in the way… Another friend of mine who I haven’t met in a while because he’s too busy building his business. Even my own brother, who lives in a five minute driving distance from me, I don’t meet as often as I would’ve liked.. And many many more with their own priorities….

To be honest, I’m  most grateful for people like these, because I know that no time or distance can diminish my love for them, I can’t imagine being compulsive and keeping score when it comes to meeting people, I get uncomfortable when I feel like I am being compelled to meet or talk to someone… Which is why I seldom text my friends first, I can’t bare the thought that anyone would feel compelled to reply JUST because (Do unto others…). You know I’m around when you need me.. (Now you know why I HATE texting first)…

To my busy-bee friends, all I have to say is, I’m thrilled for you, for your successes, for the price you pay for all your accomplishments, your work ethic is admirable, and no one deserves it more than you.. And if there’s ONLY one thing I wish for you to know is that I miss you, and Love you even more…

For the love of love, its time for me to realize that while I’m racing and running and chasing after things, it is TIME that’s racing ahead of us all… And it’s got a HUGE head-start too.. Before the inevitable, do something you love, be happy, watch a movie, sing your favorite song, kiss your kids (if you’re lucky enough to have them), be obnoxious with your best friends, crack silly jokes, even if you’re the only one who finds it funny (story of my life: feeling so breathless because of all the laughing that no one else even understands the joke *shrugging my shoulders*), cry a little, just slow down enough to allow yourself to feel. To love. To live… Since my weekend has JUST begun, I intend to do just that… Join me, won’t you ?

Until next time, Happy Weekend.. 🙂

xo

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Until we meet again

This song sounds like a goodbye, but when you really listen, you’ll hear differently.

every place I go. I think of you.

every song I sing, I sing for you.

Its impossible to leave behind the ones you carry in your heart. You take them everywhere you go.To the ones we have lost, to the ones who got on that jet plane and left us. To the ones who left without a goodbye, to the ones who we couldn’t have enough time with (time’s never enough, is it ?). I know we will meet again soon..

xo


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Of Luck, Superstitions and Lessons for Life…

20140129-093434.jpgBeing in the right place at the right time, is it merely coincidence or is there something bigger at play ? 

Meeting the people we meet, is it all chance or is there some bigger master plan that only gets revealed when we look back and attempt to connect the dots.

Not getting what we wish and hope for, is it the universe helping us dodge a bigger bullet ?

I don’t know for sure but some of these questions have been on my mind for the past few days (more so than ever), and certain circumstances and the behavior of certain friends have got me questioning pretty much all that goes on around us.

I’ve been getting a rather awful vibe from this girl that I considered a good friend and initially I tried to brush it off as me having a bad day, or me over-thinking it and being overtly sensitive, but as the months have passed, that nagging feeling on the back of my mind has been getting stronger and my alarm bells have been getting louder and I’ve realized that there’s definitely something wrong with this relationship. I hate it when this happens (who doesn’t ?), the disintegration of any relationship is heartbreaking, to say the least, But clinging on to something that has gone bad is self-destructive, turning everything toxic from within.

Being someone who considers myself to be pretty superstitious, I feel like I have been struck by the evil-eye, In India we call it Dhristhi and this has made me feel like I have hit a few roadblocks and have been existing in this state of limbo and it has got to STOP, Like NOW !!!! I wondered how best I could do this and my Go-To solution for most problems (after sleeping it off) is cleaning, it can be so cathartic, it always helps to organize everything around me and take stock of what needs to be done, or maybe its just a futile attempt at gaining some control, perhaps. What better time than NOW to clear the clutter and detox, my body, mind, soul, surroundings and pretty much MY universe ! And when I started cleaning my room, I found this evil-eye protecting charm (the one in the photograph) that was given to me by an old friend and I didn’t need a bigger sign than that to know for sure that I am on the right track. This obviously means that I have to cut some ties, the ones who have wronged me, its not because I suddenly Hate you and for the record, I Hate no one, hating takes too much energy and I’d rather use mine for love..Hate is not only counter-productive, its destructive, Its merely because I love myself more.

To the ones I am letting go, in a weird way, I will always love you because if not for you, I wouldn’t have had the chance to learn certain lessons. I’m not a big fan of elaborate goodbyes so I won’t even try to say it, I will however say this, the world is too small, perhaps, we’ll meet again and if so, I’ll hope that the second comings will be more beautiful. Until then… Take Care…

Ah I said I won’t try and say goodbye, since it never fails to make me cry !! But looks like that is exactly what I have done.. In the midst of tears another question comes to mind, Is every action deliberate or are we merely yet another cog in the machine that is this universe ?

I guess, the optimist in me (which is pretty much ALL of me), likes to believe that we are all part of something bigger than ourselves, something more mysterious, perhaps something so powerful that we aren’t meant to fully understand it.

Something that is bigger than the sky, more powerful than the sun, something that is ultimately good and always looking out for us. And I personally like to call this something, the big guy in the sky.

So, to you, my big guy in the sky, I say this, Thank you for always watching my back !! My heart is at ease knowing that what was meant for me will never miss me, and that what misses me was never meant for me. .

Gratitude and Love

xo


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#2013TaughtMe

Being someone who is super-active on a certain micro-blogging website, for the last few days I have noticed that the hashtag called #2013TaughtMe has been trending worldwide. Everyone is gung-ho about sharing with their followers what the year 2013 has taught them. Needless to say, it didn’t take me too long to jump on this trend bandwagon.

Just today, NOW, I am in the midst of an existential crisis of my own, which is making me question the very foundation of my life, its meaning, its value, just about everything.

As I sit here, in this state of limbo, I can’t help but recall some of the most valuable lessons 2013 has taught me, stuff that got reinforced and How !

Lesson # 1- #2013TaughtMe NEVER to take ANYTHING for granted !

Not the people, not the circumstances, not my health, not the small, seemingly insignificant things (Especially the smaller, “insignificant” things)

Lesson # 2- #2013TaughtMe that not everyone I consider as friends are REALLY my friends.

This is one lesson I learn over and over and over again, and each time, it breaks my heart just as badly as it did the first time. Certain circumstances have hurt me and shaken me to my very core and made me realize that regardless of how much you consider someone to be your friend, they could turnaround and prove you dead-wrong ! The disintegration of any relationship, to me, acts as a reminder to appreciate the ones that I am sure about. And as the years pass, the smaller that list is getting.

Lesson # 3- #2013TaughtMe that sometimes not getting what we want is the best thing !

This one was a toughie.. Its not the easiest thing to do to feel like something great is happening when you don’t get what you want, especially when that certain something is all you can hope for. But when the moment of anguish has passed and life goes on, there will come a day when you can look back, and somehow all the dots connect and everything makes sense, making you realize that the not happening of a certain thing (regardless of how badly you wished for it, at the time) was the best thing that could have happened.

Life somehow always works out… Its weird, But true !!

Lesson # 4- #2013TaughtMe that friendships come ONLY second to FAMILY.

The true ones, we all have at least one of this variety. The truly valuable, truly effortless love for another person who isn’t related to you by blood. The one (or few, if you’re wonderfully blessed) true friend, those that come only once in a lifetime, and once is just enough because these are the kind that stick by your side for the long haul.

These one or two or three (I’m not putting an exact number on this) people come only second to Family. In a certain way, they are family. 🙂

Heaven knows I love them !!!

Lesson # 5- #2013TaughtMe that I would take a Bullet for my family.

My family is the Biggest part of who I am. I owe my existence to my Parents, without them, I would not be here. Everything I am, everything I stand for starts and ends with my family and I couldn’t be more proud !!! And it is exactly this, that will take me far in life. I truly believe it !

Words fall terribly short when it comes to expressing my love and gratitude for my family. I can only try…. The best, most valuable lesson this year taught me is this !!! My Family is the biggest, most powerful force in Me. How can I not be confident ! 🙂

Some of my moments when life has managed to knock me down to my knees, I’ve looked up to find my family, always by my side. No matter what !!

Now if that isn’t something to be grateful for, I don’t know what is.

I love them more than words can ever tell.. One day I will make them proud, I promise !

Lesson # 6- #2013TaughtMe that Love isn’t always like a Disney movie.

Growing up, all I ever wanted to be was a Disney princess (hell, that’s all I want EVEN NOW !!!) But this year has taught me that true love, as perfect as it is, is not like it is in the movies. For one, life isn’t just 3 hours long. “True love’s kiss” doesn’t miraculously solve all of life’s problems, although it makes the hurdles that life throws at us more bearable.

For my true love (for now, lets just call him, the boy in the black suit and blue shirt), I just want to express gratitude that I met him ! I’m truly blessed.

My parents are the family I am blessed with, and he is the family my heart has chosen. I love him with everything I’ve got, unconditionally, without restrictions, without limits, without boundaries.

Life is no disney movie now that I have him, but its wonderful all the same !! 🙂

Lesson # 7- #2013TaughtMe to be unapologetic about my choices.

Its so funny how the people who contribute least to your life are the ones who are the most demanding !!! Realizing that I don’t OWE anyone ANY answers (or anything at all, for that matter) has been one of the most liberating lessons this year has taught me. My choices are mine, My consequences are mine and My life is mine.

Lesson # 8- #2013TaughtMe to Let Go.

The facade of control is the biggest illusion of my life, I am merely a spec in this mighty universe, and its hilarious if I think that I am fully in control of life !

Lesson # 9- #2013TaughtMe that I love the rush of Adrenalin. 

This was the year that I did my first bungee Jump. And boy did I love it !!!! It was the most exhilarating experience of my life ! I LOVED IT and I will definitely be doing more of that in the years to come…

Lesson # 10- #2013TaughtMe that I adore travelling !!!

I knew this all along, but this year reinforced it. I’m going to promise myself that I will do a LOT more of that in the coming years. Travelling, one of life’s bigger pleasures !!!

To live out of a suitcase, to eat yummy food, to see the world, to wear fabulous clothes, to take pretty photos and write, isn’t that the dream !!!! *sigh*

Lesson # 11- #2013TaughtMe that I love to write.

I’ve always known that I love to write, this year re-introduced me to my love of the written word, starting this blog (albeit at the fag end of 2013) has been one of the best things I have done this year. It gives me a thrill when I write. To put my thoughts into words.

One day, and I hope that day isn’t far, I hope that my words inspire someone, affects someone (or many someones 🙂 a girl can dream) even if in the slightest way..

Lesson # 12- #2013TaughtMe that the Big Guy in the Sky is always looking out for me.

This year, I have had numerous almost- accidents, driving in bangalore roads isn’t the easiest thing. But I am grateful that The big guy protected me. My faith in him has never been stronger.

And visiting the Miracle Ganesha temple, not once, but two times gave me answers to the questions that have been haunting me. For that, I have to take the moment to say, Thank You. 🙂

Sometimes its good to just take time to look up at the mighty skies and say thank you !!!

I do 🙂

Lesson # 13- #2013TaughtMe that I am very Morbid.

Not sure if that’s a good thing, but this year has taught me more than ever that life is so beautiful because death is a certainty. I once read somewhere that, the best preparation for death is finding yourself.

What is life, if not a journey of just that… Finding ourselves, finding our passion, finding something that moves us, finding our voice, our calling, our purpose,

After all, our time here in this glorious world is limited, and that might be the only realization some of us need to make life even more beautiful. Really cherish every moment.. Morbid as I sometimes am, I love life.

I’m sure 2013 has taught me many many many more things, if I start to reminisce, I could possibly write a book, but I figured I’d stop at 13… 13 lessons from 2013, has a pretty good ring to it, no ?

For now, I have to get back to the humdrum of life like putting together my outfit worthy of welcoming a brand new year !!! 🙂 Hehehee not complaining at all !

Until next time…

xo