Every time I found myself struggling in life, I have gone inward, all my pain, all the confusion, the disappointments, get taken in like the most precious things in the world and protected. Rarely do I let on that I am not okay, this has been a lifelong habit of mine, I was raised to share good times, to celebrate out loud, and I understood this to mean that everything else gets handled in the privacy of your own soul, maybe because it feels like others should not be burdened with your issues because almost everyone is struggling with their own.
At such times, I have also found well meaning people around me who offered kind words and deeds unexpectedly. I truly believe that the Universe sends these little gifts of kindness because it knows too well that you need some TLC. Some such kind souls have been colleagues, spiritual pundits, family members, acquaintances and sometimes even strangers.
Having always been a spiritual person, I have never doubted that there’s a bigger plan, one which no one can’t fully understand (not yet at least), that can only be let to unravel one day at a time, one miracle at a time (sometimes even one setback at a time – thank god for unanswered prayers, no?).
The last few days have been consumed with reading about (talking about) astrology – more specifically the planet Saturn. Astrology has been a pet topic since early years, mainly because anything that is mystical and celestial fascinates me. That somehow the way the celestial bodies move has an effect on human experiences here on earth. It is no secret that I prefer the Sky to the Earth. The vast, almost endless space which may never get completely uncovered by human beings (at least not likely in my lifetime), the stars, the planets and everything else .
Anyway, back to astrology – as per the Hindu astrology and in reality (when connecting the dots), I noticed patterns of having had a particularly rough time for the last two and a half years- caused by transit of Saturn in the eighth house. A testing time really, where one is faced with big disasters, accidents, losses (of wealth, health, reputation, jobs and mostly HOPE).
Lets talk about Saturn first – this planet is most feared, almost always thought to be malefic and terrifying, worshiped as part of the Navagraha by Hindus (which literally means Nine Planets). Saturn is actually not all bad all the time, as it signifies virtues like discipline, authority, leadership, honesty.
This planet is a perfect slave driver, which brings one to their knees with exhaustion and hopelessness. On the flip side, it gives one a chance to learn patience and be more appreciative of the good things (irrespective of how bleak everything may seem), and precisely this is how the last two and a half or so years can be described.
Layers upon layers upon layers that were uncovered one by one, be it in disappointments in work, love, health or generally life – working hard only to find the results were not even worth it, a lot of time wasted, trusting wrong people, lessons, blessings in disguise, getting knocked down, a constant swimming against the current, which does not let you move forward – sink or swim, delays, miscommunication, etc.
In the last two and a half years or so, the one thing I lost more often than anything else was Hope, no longer the same person anymore, perhaps that is exactly the point of anything, to be forged by fire and emerge stronger (and a little more jaded – a common side effect).
On 26th January (yesterday) the planets started moving again, so this transit is over (Yay!), and it apparently brings with it the end of hardships (at least astrologically speaking). The last few days, I’ve been reflecting about what this means to me, does this mean that suddenly the clouds will lift and life is sunny and bright all of a sudden, I don’t know.
As I sit here writing this post, despite Saturn (or whatever else it was – Life perhaps) bringing me to my knees, all I can do is sit still and look forward, as I slowly gather whats left of hope, and ready myself for the times to come. Today is a new day, a time to unburden and rest, after all tomorrow just so happens to be Chinese New Year – the year of Rooster, a day of new beginnings.
So until my next post, I wish you well and Happy Chinese New year!
Good times ahead, see you there soon.