Countdown

In exactly one month I will be celebrating a milestone birthday, the big Three-Oh, and unsurprisingly I am completely freaked out! I felt exactly this way when I was turning 20 (and now I think, awww how cute, that I was actually worried about turning 20!), when I realized I’ll never be a teen ever again, and THAT was a decade ago. Where does the time go?

Milestone birthdays always give me a bittersweet feeling, it makes me feel like time is passing me by so quickly, even though it happens one day at a time, and I always countdown big events, it still manages to catch me by surprise and I can’t help but wonder how I got here.

Anyway, after the surprise (shock) has subsided, I generally tend to feel a little sad that perhaps some of the most fun moments are behind me, but I hope to heaven that I’m wrong and whats coming is way better than what I’ve left behind. After all life is about moving forward, even if we do sometimes look back just to reminisce for a little while.

Nonetheless, my 20s have been (and still is for another month) a very memorable decade, so many firsts, so many memories made, so many epiphanies, its been wonderful so far, and as I sit here making plans for the coming month, I can’t help but think of some of my favorite moments of the last decade.

In my 20s, I –

  1. learnt how to drive;
  2. got my first tattoo;
  3. met my Best friend/sister in law school – I don’t know what I’d do without her;
  4. graduated from Law School;
  5. got my first job;
  6. had my BIG heartbreak, and survived it;
  7. re-connected with my other best friend, after almost 10 years (or more) of having lost touch – and boy am I blessed to have met him again;
  8. reconnected with many many old friends;
  9. drove in my first TSD car rally and won;
  10. battled with numerous insecurities and overcame most of them;
  11. did my first bungee jump;
  12. drove a tractor;
  13. started this blog – my own little corner of the internet, which gives me so much joy;
  14. tried my hand at teaching – a lifelong dream;
  15. finally learnt to swim;
  16. solo-traveled for the first time, don’t get what the fuss is all about, I enjoy travelling with loved ones more;
  17. learnt some pretty major “life-lessons”;
  18. started to actually enjoy good White Wines – and even have a favorite one;
  19. started painting more, and I realized I love it – maybe this will turn into something more substantial someday, only time will tell;
  20. learnt to crochet – and now making a scarf for myself;
  21. dealt with chronic back pain, and realized the biggest thing needed for recovery is TLC;
  22. learnt that I can perform miracles when I am kinder to myself, and forgave myself for all the times I wasn’t; and
  23. finally fell in love with myself – and started my life long romance..

I’m sure there are many more of my favorite highlights of the last decade and numerous “full-circle” moments, but for now this is a pretty good list!

I am looking forward to the next month to cherish these last few days of being a 20-something, I obviously intend to make the most of it.

Life sure is full of surprises, ten years ago I would’ve never believed this would be my life, and despite all the challenging moments, I would never change anything. I get to wake up as me, and that is pretty spectacular.

img_0791

Until next time, embrace your life. This day will never happen again, make the most of it.

Love more.

xo

Life Lesson – Back to basics

As someone who has been practicing yoga for the last decade, I tend to be very aware of my body, how it reacts to certain things, how it is affected by change in diet, weather, fitness routine, pretty much most things. That’s the thing about Yoga I love most, the awareness it creates. Yes, the flexibility, strength, etc., are all great, but the awareness you have over your body (physical and energy body) is immense.

On December 12th 2016, I had the most rude awakening of my life – I woke up and could not get up and stand up straight, or walk without crying. I had shooting pain in my lower back, and no matter what I tried to do, I could not move. My legs felt like they each weighed a ton, I couldn’t sit, I couldn’t stand, couldn’t lie down in any position other than a fetal position. The only thing that got me through the night was to be heavily sedated, and I saw the doctor the next day to figure out what had gone wrong, and found out that my disc is damaged, and more damage and it could easily have been a slipped disc or a herniated disc. This was something I have to be careful about for the rest of my life.

I asked him how this was even possible, I do yoga! I’m in my 20s! Okay, I work a desk job, but I’m very conscious about talking breaks and stretching, HOW could this have happened??

Very calmly, the Doc told me that this could happen to ANYONE. It doesn’t matter how old/young you are, how fit/unfit you are, etc.

It has been over three months, and my back still hasn’t completely recovered. I still occasionally get shooting pain in my lower back, or sometimes a weird pressure in my lower back. There is now a constant awareness in my body that my back is still recovering. I still cringe at attending long meetings, because I don’t like to sit in chairs too long, I now avoid certain kinds of lounge chairs, I am hyper aware when my back isn’t straight or supported, because anything other than perfect posture, my back makes its presence be known, like a tantrum throwing child trying to get your attention. THIS is not fun!

The back incident (as I now refer to it) was a huge wake up call – because I never expected that I would have back issues, in my 20s (okay Late 20s), it made me so angry, all the rage I didn’t know I had came out to play in those days when I was stuck on my back. It was unfair and I definitely didn’t deserve it!

For 10 days I literally did nothing other than wake up, shower, get dressed, get on the carpet on the floor, took pain medication, slept, ate, and repeated this cycle.

The first few days were pure rage! I was pissed off with life, it felt like I was screaming uncontrollably into the abyss and no one could hear me, no one could help me. I felt alone,  helpless and very angry.

After my anger tired me out, it turned into plain submission (with a hint of helpless sadness), I told myself that I won’t let this pain go to waste. It HAD to mean something. I know that God (at least the one I know, love and believe in) wouldn’t put me through pain so senselessly. It HAD to mean something. I needed it to mean something.

Pain-1

Image Source – Facebook

But what exactly did all of this mean, what was this meant to teach me?

The back incident gave me a LOT of time to reflect, and one of the conclusions was that maybe I had allowed life to go into auto-pilot mode, and just went with whatever life was sending my way, instead of living more deliberately, so much so that life had to give me a jolt to wake me up!

Now I don’t know if I’m right or not, but I choose to believe that it was for some great piece of wisdom that I had to uncover.

Image result for wisdom is healed pain

Image Source – Google Images

Sometimes it is at your lowest point that the most precious lessons are revealed. So what was this too precious lesson that got revealed that I wouldn’t have learnt without pain that put the fear of god in me?

Well here are some of the big ones, at least this is what I’ve come up with so far –

  1. My family will be there for me no matter what – of course, I knew this. But this was a reminder because when my big brother (who is usually very busy), cleared up his day to take me to the hospital; and my mum spend almost all day with me rubbing my back, getting me hot packs for my back and comforting me; and I found out that my dad actually lost sleep over my new health condition. It made me realize how blessed I am, even if I wasn’t fully capable to appreciating it in that moment. I definitely do now.
  2. My body is more fragile than I thought – while the human body is capable of surviving in unimaginable conditions, it actually takes real discipline to keep it in good shape. Damaging it is the easiest thing, and recovering might take the rest of my life.
  3. Life is as unexpected as it is short – we NEVER know what is coming next. It only takes a second of life to make a 180 degree shift, and life as you know it will cease to exist. The impermanence of things is both comforting and unnerving. So enjoy and don’t take life so damn seriously all the time.
  4. Appreciate everything and take nothing for granted – there are people praying from the stuff we take for granted. So always be grateful and cherish life.
  5. Meditation helps with unexpected emotional outbursts (in my case rage) – To me, meditation means to simply be still and silence your mind of constant clatter. It is to simply be present. It isn’t always about chanting and getting into an elusive state of trance. It is to simply be still and let yourself be at balance with the world around. I know it sounds new age-y but it works like magic, it has made me calmer and happier.
  6. Writing about experiences dissipates pain – This makes me want to start a journal (with an actual book and pen).

Obviously there are many more, but I am yet to figure out how to articulate it. Its time to get back to basics, to ignore the external influences, and listen to my inner voice and go back to who I am.

Until next time, be good!

xo

International Day of Happiness 2017

Today, 20th March, 2017 (Monday) is the International Day of Happiness – the concept of such “days” leave me perplexed, simply because often these are things that one should be mindful about always.

Like mothers day, women’s day, father’s day, valentines day, etc. – to me these days feel like someone is playing a joke on the world and reducing human sentiments to no more than posts on social media. (and yes, I do acknowledge the delicious irony that is this post)

Happiness is a state of mind, which requires nothing external, which has no limits or rules.

To be Happy, simply be. It really is as simple as that.

Image result for happiness

Image Source – Google Images

Lately, one of my favorite things to do is reflect – to be still and observe the patterns of my life, to be able to review my reactions to life, perhaps with the hope that I can better myself, and that gives me immense happiness.

So in the spirit of celebrating the International Day of Happiness, I will do a thing that always makes me happy – make a list (of things that make me happy), so here goes –

  1. Making Lists 😉
  2. Puppies – playing with them, looking at pictures/videos, or even just thinking about them changes my mood for the better
  3. Re-reading books – it always gives me the feeling of coming back home
  4. Reading book reviews of books I’ve already read, which gives me an insight to other people’s perspective on books that I’ve loved, more so when I find opposing views than mine
  5. A good cup of coffee – I once tried to give up coffee and practically lost my will to go on (I wish I were only saying this for effect), to have seen what life could be like without my favorite beverage gave me a real appreciation for it. And now when I drink coffee, I savor it for the drops of heaven it really is ❤
  6. Revisiting favorite memories, of certain moments which seem devised purely by the cosmos above
  7. Talking to old friends…

and many more, a list like this is endless, just as it should be.

In life, we often forget that there is something to be happy about each day, not just happy – delighted and enchanted – the food we eat, the clothes we wear, the joy that surrounds us each day, our jobs, our experiences, the endless possibilities of tomorrow which gives us hope, even just breathing (taking full deep breaths) and enjoying the essence of being alive and present.

Its all right here, waiting for us to stop being busy, and just look.

So today, I promise myself that no matter how busy or difficult my day gets, I’ll take at least 30 minutes to just indulge in things that give me joy.

I hope you do too.

Until next time, be happy!

xo

2017 – Valentines Day <3

The day of Love AKA Valentine’s Day 2017 has been a great day!
Image result for valentines day images

Source – Google Images

Although I’m very irked by the whole ONE day for Love deal, I had the most wonderful day possible, with surprises that I hadn’t expected, and expected events that didn’t happen (Just yet?), but at the end of the day, I am in love all over again. The kind of love that makes you hopeful, that it only takes one second for the Universe to bless you with everything you’ve been hoping for (and more).
Even once you’ve taken off he rose tinted glasses, Love is everywhere, whether it is your parents, your best friends or (best of all) even yourself, there is ALWAYS love around you waiting to be noticed. So as I get ready to turn in, I can’t help but feel a little overwhelmed and tongue-tied, and when words don’t come easy, I rely on words of the Greats who knew their way around the typewriter.
What better poem that the one I chanced upon today – a perfect synchronicity. A poem about a man who loved a love so, it made the angels envious.
Annabel Lee By Edgar Allan Poe
It was many and many a year ago,
   In a kingdom by the sea,
That a maiden there lived whom you may know
   By the name of Annabel Lee;
And this maiden she lived with no other thought
   Than to love and be loved by me.
I was a child and she was a child,
   In this kingdom by the sea,
But we loved with a love that was more than love—
   I and my Annabel Lee—
With a love that the wingèd seraphs of Heaven
   Coveted her and me.
And this was the reason that, long ago,
   In this kingdom by the sea,
A wind blew out of a cloud, chilling
   My beautiful Annabel Lee;
So that her highborn kinsmen came
   And bore her away from me,
To shut her up in a sepulchre
   In this kingdom by the sea.
The angels, not half so happy in Heaven,
   Went envying her and me—
Yes!—that was the reason (as all men know,
   In this kingdom by the sea)
That the wind came out of the cloud by night,
   Chilling and killing my Annabel Lee.
But our love it was stronger by far than the love
   Of those who were older than we—
   Of many far wiser than we—
And neither the angels in Heaven above
   Nor the demons down under the sea
Can ever dissever my soul from the soul
   Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
For the moon never beams, without bringing me dreams
   Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
And the stars never rise, but I feel the bright eyes
   Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side
   Of my darling—my darling—my life and my bride,
   In her sepulchre there by the sea—
   In her tomb by the sounding sea.
I hope that this year brings a love that even Angels in heaven envy.
Until next time, Happy Valentine’s Day! ❤
xo

Love yourself

For the longest time, I have battled with insecurities, and then I discovered  self-love. Its one of my favorite things to talk about, to read about, to write about – you name it, it all starts and ends with self-love for me.

Which also beings me to one of my biggest pet-peeves, that we are raised to believe that liking yourself (let alone loving yourself) is vain and only shallow and selfish people indulge in it.

Even now, if I think about how many multi-billion dollar industries are thriving on people’s insecurities, it makes me realize that I am not alone – beauty, luxury products, technology, highly curated, edited and mono-tonal media, matrimonial and so many other industries are thriving on people’s insecurities – we are constantly conditioned and nurtured with imagery to believe so many things:

  • If you are not tall, thin, blonde-haired, blue-eyed you are not beautiful; Of course this has changed quire significantly in the last decade! YAY!!
  • India’s obsession with fairness, where beauty means having fair unblemished skin;
  • If one is fat – they get constantly mocked and made to feel undesirable and un-datable – and not because being fat/out of shape may be a health hazard;
  • If one doesn’t have the latest technology- they’re outdated and uncool;
  • If one isn’t married by a certain age, they may as well be lepers.

Okay, maybe I was a bit dramatic on that last one there, but you get my point.. 🙂

We are constantly told that only “a particular way” was is right, and if don’t fit into that mold, you are not good enough…

For example, I recently went to the salon for a haircut, and ended up getting a very expensive facial and hair treatment along with the haircut. Why? because my stylish was very vocal about how damaged my hair and skin was, and I fell for it, simply because they had pressed on an insecurity of mine! Consequently instead of spending 1000 INR, I ended up spending 5000 INR that day. I came back home with a temporary fix and a lighter wallet. (See what I mean about industries thriving on people’s insecurities).

After parting ways with 5 times the amount than I had originally planned on spending that day, I took stock of my habits and decided I will take better care of myself, invest in good quality products and life long habits, and take the best care of myself.

Even now when I go to the salon, stylists try pressing buttons as they are trained to do, but at least now, if I do opt for treatments, it is because I want to, and not because someone is trying their luck at en-cashing on my insecurities.

So let me start at the very beginning of my own story – of how I was raised to feel like I wasn’t enough; and how I got over it (to a large extent…); and what that has resulted in.

Growing up, I was constantly compared with others (mostly by my grandmother, god rest her soul), this eventually lead to a pattern of me comparing myself with others and drive myself insane – thinking if only I was as tall as so and so, or if only I had a figure like so and so, or if only I had a job like so and so…. my life would be perfect. This lead to me feeling insecure and wanting to hide my real self from everyone because I never felt like I was good enough, resulting in me attracting situations and people who treated me likewise, giving me more of the same, reassuring me that how I felt was right and reinforcing the idea that I was not good enough.It became a vicious circle.

I spent years (decades) like this – outwardly happy looking, but struggling and hating myself for not being enough. In hindsight this saddens me so much, because your childhood, teens and early 20s should be filled with joy and not insecurities. Alas.

Something changed in my 20s, around the time that I was 23 years old actually – I had just graduated from law school, and having read the book called the secret, I realised a lot of the perpetuating patterns were made by me, by accepting it. I had lived my entire life not knowing that I could say No to something.

I had successfully manifested a 6 year relationship which can be described as toxic and a stressful job – where I gave my all and still felt inadequate. It made me clingy, angry, petty and pretty awful. I really didn’t like myself then.

All I knew was that I never wanted to feel like that, so I had to say No to things that diminished me. Then came the next dilemma, what do I say yes to and what do I say no to?  I hadn’t the slightest. I had never ever asked myself this question…

So I did what I do best – made a list (not pen to paper list), which turned out to be one of the most powerful exercises I’ve ever done for myself and one that I do so constantly, that today it has become almost an involuntary function.

But that was not the case when I started  – so what exactly did I do – well, it wasn’t one thing- it was however, triggered by one Oscar Wilde quote (which continues to be one of my favorites even today) –

“To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance.” ~ Oscar Wilde

 It seems so simple right – except we are usually taught the exact opposite of that, aren’t we??

I stopped dead in my tracks, how could something so essential never be taught. No answer.

So I started on my quest with no answers: I made a conscious effort to dwell on things I like about myself, it started very small like one or two things that I did like, and I’d acknowledge it – it felt good, so I kept adding to it, and adding to it and then adding some more – till I fell in love with myself, and thus began my lifelong romance. Thank you, Mr. Wilde!

Things that I was once insecure about, I now loved and flaunted – Like my height, I stand proud at 5 feet 2 inches.

b7

It was merely a change of perspective. Not short, but utterly adorable. And just like that, you like something instead of feeling embarrassed. AND I get to wear the tallest heels and still look like an adorable little pixie! Win-Win!

b8

Of course this is only one example, and like this I found things I didn’t like and changed it, and what could not be changed, I changed my perspective about it, and it worked! I constantly found myself surprised that it was that simple and yet it never occurred to me sooner.

As they say, better late than never, but don’t let it fool you into thinking its all great all the time, sadly romance doesn’t work like that – there are still days of utter confusion, self doubt, and worst of all self defeating thoughts, but like with any relationship, you process it, you figure out a way to fix it, and you make an effort to do so again and again till its not a problem anymore.

Since this realization and my efforts to live this way began, I noticed a LOT of people were uncomfortable and even unhappy with this development, uncomfortable because they could not relate to me (the evolving me) anymore, I was told that I was selfish and that if I kept it up that I would end up all alone, because no one like vain people. I was told that my affection for myself was wrong because it was conceited to think like that. These people practically handed me the scissors and begged me to cut them off (from my life), and I happily obliged.

Some people expressed their unhappiness in their actions and sometimes even with words, they questioned why I deserved to like myself, or how I could dare to not seek their approval anymore. It pissed off a lot of them, again they practically handed me the scissors and begged me to cut them off, and again I happily obliged. This actually made me feel a thousand pounds lighter.

Through it all, I realized how many toxic people I had collected along the way, how many toxic people I had so happily accepted as my friends and family. It brought me to a new mantra –

165032_138441366310817_2031312170_n1

I finally realized that it was okay not to be liked by EVERYONE. We are not built for that. Life doesn’t end if a few people don’t like you, either they don’t know you, can’t relate to you, or best yet they don’t matter.

So what difference does it make if someone dislikes you – NONE (I promise you) No difference whatsoever, as long as you like you, as long as you approve of your choices & consequences, it makes NO difference. I remind myself this every time I start to obsess over this.

Of course, as human beings, we all want people to like us, but here’s another secret that I uncovered along the way, when you like you and accept you for the beautiful unique person you are, you set the bar for those around you as well; and the people you attract into your existence will like you. But just like anything, this type of consciously choosing a life that serves to magnify your existence, is not as simple as flipping a switch, it is, but its not a one time thing, every time you are faced with a choice, you have to choose the one that aids your well being more. Its more than a full-time job, its a way of life. 🙂

b9

Another result of this I have noticed through the years is friends have used it as an innuendo to make light of what I was saying – self love to be more literal rather than the tool to build your self-esteem and self-worth, but hey, they were funny so I rolled with it, laughed at it, and moved on.

If people were not ready to hear my story, it was okay, I no longer felt the compulsion of explaining myself or convincing them. That was freeing, to know that my way of life and my story is enough for me, irrespective of how acceptable it was to others.

This has resulted in better relationships, better confidence, more compassion, and most importantly a grateful and highly satisfying life, knowing every day that I am enough… Hell, I am an awesome, genuine, one-of-a kind woman!!! That is worth the world.

Now lets get to the big question – why self love – because this is the foundation of everything your life is built on. How, because we come to this world alone, and one day we will leave this world alone, but from the time we arrive to the time we depart – we are surrounded by people, beauty, and endless opportunities offered by this bountiful world, and we would have done ourselves a HUGE disservice if we didn’t make the best of our time here.

To build anything lasting, its foundation should be solid, so to make your life one of substantial significance, it starts with the strong foundation, that is YOU! The you that derives strength from inside yourself, and the ONLY way to do it is when it starts with the most powerful creative force known to mankind – Love!

The ONLY reason for this post is because I had to learn this the hard way, and I’m hoping that you don’t have to.

Its okay to love yourself, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise, and see how life changes for you!

Go ahead, start with one baby step today. Look at the mirror and focus on your favorite parts for a good 5 minutes, you will come away liking yourself a little bit more!

Go on, try it, and let me know!

Until next time, go love yourself!

Enjoy ❤

xo

An unlikely Lawyer Life

Riddle me this – what is one of the most hated professions in the world, which is also one of the most feared, and one of the most respected, some of the most brilliant world leaders are part of this fraternity?

Answer – *Two thumbs pointed at myself* A Lawyer!!

Despite all the hate, being a lawyer is Great! (apparently I am also a poet.. ish) I should know, I am it. 🙂

About 11 years ago, I made a choice which changed the course of my life forever. Everyone who knew me as a child or as a teenager would have bet their lives that I would grow up to do something in the Fashion Industry, be a designer in a little atelier sketching up lovely designs, styling clothes, working with luxurious fabrics and ornate embellishments. No one, (not even me)  would’ve guessed that I would be a Corporate Attorney.

11 years ago, I decided I wanted to go to Law school, and one day be a Lawyer, a choice I made for many reasons, some grounded in impeccable logic and some which were a bit silly (not getting into it now), it lead to a path that took me to 5 years of law school, with its own set of experiences and lessons, a place which taught me the Law, and also gave me my best friend and sister for life.

That path eventually lead me to my first job, then my second, and which has now brought me to Today, when I sit at the cusp of completing 6 years of being a Lawyer.

That one choice made a lifetime ago brought with it the teachers, the friends, the people, the clients, the colleagues – each of whom have brought value, the lessons that I was meant to learn, the memories more precious than jewels. I can go on and on really!

Its a rather tasteless form of “comedy” that people often resort to, to express their hate/fear of lawyers, countless jokes (some of them are actually funny – like this one below) that are made at our expense, we are often called sharks, ruthless, liars and more.

funny-jokes-question-dollors-client-lawyer-good-nice-best-jokes

Picture Source – Google Images

However, if you ask a lawyer to describe our beloved profession or its professionals, they will use words/phrases like Rooted in Tradition, Ethical, Service, Detail oriented, Brilliant and more. Perhaps we are biased, but it doesn’t make it less true. Of course, there are exceptions, like in any rule, the rogue ones here and there who are willing to do anything for a quick buck, the ambulance chasers and so on, but isn’t that true for any profession in the world?

Today, I can proudly say I am a Lawyer, and I can’t imagine being anyone else! Although most people tell me that I don’t “Look” like a lawyer, to which I have no answer other than an awkward smile. It is still an old boys club, after all (for the most part), and we still live in a world where people see a woman who looks like me and doesn’t immediately guess, Lawyer! And that is okay, I don’t fault the world, after all it does amuse me.

In this unlikely lawyer life of mine, if there’s one thing I know for sure, it is this – whether I look it or not, I am it and I love it. A girl who loves the Law, with all its words, its rules in black & white, its interpretation in shades of grey, its traditions, and its pride, I love it all.

Life is as strange as it is beautiful, and I can’t wait to see how the rest of it unfolds. My parting thought for you is this – don’t hate! Lawyers are actually super fun, and if nothing else, great drinking buddies 😛

17jan2

Picture Source – Google Images

Until next time, be good.

xo

Wilde Wondering

This past week has been a pain in my back, sadly I mean that literally. My Monday started with shooting pain in my lower back, a pain so severe I couldn’t walk, or even move without crying, and on Tuesday it was diagnosed as a minor slip disc, and boy was I angry when I found out, it was unimaginable that me, a yoga doing 20 something girl could get it. It felt unfair and I was angry, although quiet on the outside, I was screaming internally. That was my state of being all the way till Wednesday. Finally around mid week, it dawned on me that One good thing that has come from this forced rest, is that I’ve had the time to stay still, meditate, do absolutely nothing, read and basically find a way to let all the pent up stress melt away.

One of the things that did happen this past week was finding part this amazing quote by Mr. Wilde, which is pretty much my life’s mantra, if you will, and it goes something like this –

 To have no yesterday, and no tomorrow. To forget time, to forget life, to be at peace.

Here and Now – the Only truth, all that we can be sure of. Not tomorrow, not 5 years from now, not life when we’re say 60! Not even the past, your past glories or past embarrassments, its all nothing but memories now. Stories.

Now – this moment. And the biggest, possibly the most difficult task is to be fully present, mind, body and spirit. To enjoy THIS moment.

It may seem very new age-y and pseudo intellectual. But really, its not. To be present, truly present in the moment, to share that part of your life with the person/s you are with. It is the best thing you could ever do! Believe me, there have been such moments which I wish never ended, but they did, because such is life, it keeps moving on, whether you want it to or not.

Maybe that is something that we should keep in mind, especially when life has managed to knock you down to our knees. This is also only a phase, a moment which will change. (for better or worse, I’m not sure, but it won’t be this way anymore). I take a lot of comfort from this because when you’re back hurts, everything hurts. Its possibly as bad as a heartbreak. But I know that this pain is only temporary. Tomorrow (or even the next hour), my body could heal to make me stronger. Therefore, despite the pain, I can be at peace, that this moment too will pass, the discomfort gives me clarity to take better care of myself. And that I definitely will. 🙂

Now back to the quote, when I saw part of it, it looked like a quote about here and now, but when I read the whole quote, its not about life at all, but about death. That death is a state of being at peace, a state of nothing-ness. It is sneaky how we thing something (or someone) is a certain way based on just one side of what is presented to us, and when we take a look at the bigger picture, it tells a different story.

This is the whole Quote –

As always, Mr. Wilde has given me something to think about. Perhaps, it is not to be too quick to judge something. I for one, am guilty of getting carried away, but this quote, in all its deceptive glory, really does give me something to change about myself, maybe not change, but evolve.. 🙂 That does have a better ring to it!

Today and the coming days will be more about improvement, healing, letting go of old hurt, and embracing all that is to come.

I used to think that to be positive was to suppress any negative feeling or disregard negative thoughts, and just fake being happy till I actually felt happy. But lately, I’ve begun to realize that any feeling or emotion must be acknowledged and felt to be fully and properly released from your system, otherwise it turns toxic. So if you’re sad- be sad, if you’re hurt- be hurt, if you’re in pain – feel it, and then let it go. Don’t let it bottle up in a dark corner and fester, only to blow up in your face when you least expect.

This, for me, has been one of the biggest lessons of 2016.

To allow myself to not be numb, to actually feel and be present in every aspect of life- physically, emotionally, spiritually. The biggest lesson ever learnt is to surrender. To be able to surrender to the moment, no questions asked, has  been the most difficult and most rewarding experience. Life, after all is only now, that has been the biggest revelation.

All this, just in time for Solstice (winter solstice in the northern hemisphere and summer solstice in the southern hemisphere), its a perfect occasion to shift your energy from dark gloomy past and move to embrace bright new beginnings.

Solstice, it is believed, is a time the Universe gives us a bridge to let go of all that doesn’t serve us, and make space for a better brighter life.

If the earlier bit sounds too abstract, here is what you can practically do –

  1. Acknowledge the pain – Write things down, find a calm quiet place and write what you feel. Take stock of the year, both good and bad. Acknowlegde that it is okay not to have followed the plan. Life works out exactly as it should.
  2. Release the hurt – Now that you have written things down, release the pain. Don’t cling on to things and re live the hurt. Release it, by forgiving yourself, forgiving those you feel have hurt you, release that sense of entitlement. Imagine a calming energy envelop you as you let go. Forgive. You will feel ten pounds lighter!
  3. De-clutter – This can be done in many ways, the first thing to start with can be your physical space, your home, get rid of things you don’t need. Give things away.Clear your physical space. Then maybe do the same at your work place. And your online life – de-friend, unfollow and allow yourself to only be surrounded by things that really bring you joy. The rest is clutter, and they have got to go!
  4. Forgive – Forgive yourself. We tend to be our own harshest critics. Learn to also be your own biggest cheerleader. Its okay not to be perfect, but that is not an excuse to be unkind to yourself. Start by consciously forgiving yourself, and see how that will change your perspective.
  5. Embrace – After all the above, you will feel finally ready for all that is coming your way, embrace everything, the good and the bad. Find your bliss and cherish it.

Let this holiday season bring joy and light, because after the year we have all had, we deserve it.

Until next time, be good to yourself.

xo