Effloresce23

Chronicling my thoughts, one post at a time..

Life Hack – Being here, now

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One of my favorite Eckhart Tolle advice on being in the now are two of the most simple exercises which require less than 5 minutes of your day – 

  1. Take deep breaths – breathe in and observe as your body fills up with air as you inhale; and exhale while observing your body move with each of your breaths. Your breath is proof that you are alive, after all it is the universal life force, its an easy way to remind yourself that you are exactly where you are meant to be.  Now.
  2. Wash your hands – and while you do, notice how the water feels as it flows onto your skin forming small bubbles, observe your hands and all its details – your ring, the veins, maybe that little freckle you had long forgotten existed, smell the soap. A simple task like washing your hands can bring you to the this very moment.

My very own variation to these exercises is to allow myself a few moments to observe my surroundings especially when I feel like I am caught up in the rut.  I stop and take stock of my surroundings, the color of the fluorescent light in the room, the whirring sound of the ceiling fan, the sound of the ticking clock, my handbag as it sits on my desk with my favorite pair of sunglasses hanging on it, how my chair feels comforting and secure beneath me. As I take in all the details which seem familiar and often overlooked, and how it all makes me feel, I am.

Life as we know it (& just as it is meant to be) is in motion right now, for each of us, all over the planet.

Welcome to the present moment, your life. The beautiful Now.

Where else do we have to be?

Peace & Love

xo


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2016- the last hurrah

Sometimes I wish I had the ability to stop time, or at least slow it down so I can savor the moment, but 2016 has not been one of those times. Of course, there have been moments which were exceptions, but those good moments are grossly outweighed by all the times I wished that time in 2016 actually passed quicker, if that were possible.

It has been a year of tough lessons, acceptance of disappointment as part of the bigger picture, being forced to grow and behave maturely and face things head on when all I wanted to do was crawl up into a void and scream uncontrollably till I passed out into a deep slumber that usually follows a good cry (just as it was the year before, and most definitely the one before that!). But somehow 2016 feels like its the worst of the lot. Either it is because I am also growing older and have a lowered tolerance for a lot of things, or its been a particularly brutal year, or maybe because its happening now so it feels like it is way worse than it probably will seem in the future, I can’t be sure. Either way, I’m glad 2016 almost done.

To be fair, I have also had some moments of true bliss, full-circle moments, being able to move past my own self-limiting beliefs and grow (and surprise myself). 2016 has  been a year that I can truly say I’ve given my all to every part of my life, be it professionally, be it to friends and loved ones, I’ve given my most sincere efforts, unconditionally, and not felt depleted or entitled.

Its been a year of embracing some good principles  which resonated with me like –

  • to invest in experiences rather than things;
  • to make more memories than acquire trinkets and souvenirs;
  • to give rather than take;
  • to be present (as much as possible, and as often as possible) rather than worry and drive myself crazy about the future;
  • to be selfless especially with my family;
  • to de-clutter rather than hoard;
  • to re-purpose and recycle as many things as I can rather than buy things;
  • to be more detached without being closed off;
  • to do small things ever so often for myself that make me happy – even if it is as simple as taking extra time to get ready, as long as I feel great about myself;
  • to be more unapologetic about my choices, and not feel the need to explain or make excuses for my life;
  • to choose to be graceful even when I’m met with the most rude and insufferable behavior;
  • to surround myself in beauty every day because that actually makes my heart happy;
  • To travel as frequently as I possibly can;
  • To create some semblance of balance between work and life; and so many more I’m sure.

So much has happened this year, and so much more awaits us in 2017.

The next 21 days feel like the last hurrah, the last leg before we officially get to say goodbye to this year, so my plan is to let go of the pain and burdens that have haunted me and free up my hands to embrace all the good that is on its way in the coming days.

I also know that you, my dear reader, have also had your own share of struggles, your lessons, your trials and tribulations, but know that its only a phase and the future will be beautiful because you will make it so. Somehow I just know. 🙂

Before this year closes, lets find a way to let go of things that no longer serve us.

A few practical ways to do that, I find (I’m sure this works because I am currently in the process of doing exactly this) –

  • Is to de-clutter your physical space (your bedroom, your house, your office, basically any space that you occupy for prolonged duration.
  • Start by sorting out old clothes, that you no longer wear (or fir into). get rid of anything that you no longer use, give them away. I know that you bought them with so much love and excitement, now its time for those objects to bring someone else joy!
  • Give away old books, that you have no intention of re-reading.
  • Throw out old makeup or old gadgets that you know longer use.

When you give things away and in a real way create more space in your life, you are ready and able to accept better things into your life.

And most important lesson I have learnt this year and which I will carry with me in the years to come is forgiveness. To be able to forgive myself and others, both being essential..

I hope you find your own path away from the Chaos that is 2016, and find your own way to let go and bid adieu to this year in grand style.

Until my next post, take care 🙂

xo


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Ghosting: the scary new trend

Have you ever met someone and just clicked, suddenly and effortlessly you and this person have so much in common, you like the same things, you have similar philosophies about life, and everything seems wonderful, till one day this person disappears, no proper goodbye, no explanation, nothing… *Poof* they are gone, like a bad magic trick.

At first you think, that they must be busy, or there has to be a perfectly plausible explanation for the sudden disappearance. Then days go by, turning into weeks and you are left repeatedly checking your phone, looking for the “last seen“, checking to see if your friend is “Online“, and still finding that not even one of the times your phone beeps, it is your friend texting/calling to say hello again. After perhaps weeks, you realize that its time to let go of someone who has already left.

Given the day and age we live in, I think I can safely assume that all of us have faced this situation. And for those lucky few who don’t know what I’m talking about, this is called Ghosting. It is when a person finds it easier to disappear from another’s world than just say goodbye. Because often times leaving quietly is easier than messy farewells.. Its a horrible thing, but it happens way too frequently.

Unfortunately I have been on both sides of this, and the only time I have chosen to leave without a goodbye is when I have felt utterly disrespected, so much so that even a reaction to such a treatment was felt to be beneath my dignity.

Let me give you an example – In the recent past, there was a guy I liked (who liked me too, or at least that is what I deduced from his behavior). We have a ton of mutual friends, he was fun and confident, he constantly flirted with me, and then one day this guy turned around and said that he would go out with (date) me provided we kept it a secret. Wow! A secret boyfriend, lucky me!  *NOT*

Did he expect me to be thrilled to bits by this proposition? Because that is just the fairy tale all of us grew up wanting right?

Did I want to be someone’s dirty little secret? No

Did I think I deserved better than that from a guy? Hell yes.

Did I want to whine and pout and put this guy on the spot, just so he’d agree to be in a non-secret relationship, which would most likely have a shelf life of a few weeks tops? Definitely NOT.

So what did I do – I politely ended the conversation and decided to stop giving my time and energy to people who treated me only as an option or as a dirty little secret they are too embarrassed by.

Now you might be thinking, this was easy for her, well… it really wasn’t. Walking away is never easy. But there are ALWAYS two sides to anything. To cut someone off, without a proper goodbye is hard, it hurts and its no fun at all. But, for the sake of your own self esteem, it has to be done.

Which brings me to today, when I am on the receiving end of this treatment (Is this Karma? Maybe). Perhaps I said or did something to offend this guy so much that he thought best to leave without a goodbye. Leaving me feeling utterly confused, inadequate and rejected.

Both times however (funnily enough), the only person left with a profound sense of rejection was Me.

Well, we are and can only be responsible for our own actions. Its best to be mindful about what we do, what we are putting into the world, rather than cultivate expectations and entitlement. While I retreat to my safe place to lick my wounds and soothe my bruised pride, here is a parting note – No matter what, whether you have cut someone off or you have been cut off, know that sometimes people enter your life only as a lesson, their role is over once they have taught you what you desperately needed to learn, nothing more.These are not your Knights in shiny armors, valiant enough to rescue you from your demons. After all, they too are too busy fighting their own demons and trying desperately to save themselves. We are all doing the best we can, aren’t we.

So remember – Not everyone you meet deserves an introduction to your soul.. But To ghost or not to ghost, that is the real question for this power comes with great responsibility. Use it at your own discretion.

Until next time, be good and be safe.

xo


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999 – Time for Change

Today is 09-09-2016 (which adds up to 9), so today’s date is 999 which some believe signify Endings. So if you, like me, have been feeling like you’ve been stuck, in a slump, or just used to the hopelessness of a monotonous routine, this day should give you a reason to be hopeful.

It is widely believed that when you often see sequences of numbers like 111, 222, etc., it is the Universe sending you a little message. I fondly refer to it as my own little moments of synchronicity, the moments of perfect alignment with the Universe..

I know, I know… Some of you might roll your eyes and dismiss all this as new age-y and hokey, and that is okay. This is just something that a lot of us find comfort in, and it is something that I hope gives hope to those who are at a dead-end. And that is okay too. 🙂

You might have been told to make a wish when the clock strikes 11:11, that is because 1111 signifies new beginnings, or awakening. Number 1111 is made up of the powerful influences of the number 1, amplified and magnified by four.  Number 1 resonates with the new beginnings and starting afresh, creation and creativity, self-reliance and tenacity, attainment, happiness, innovation, self-development and oneness with life.

09092016

Image Source – Google Images

Similarly, each of these number sequences have a different meaning and indicate something significant in your life that the Universe is nudging you towards.

999 signifies Closure, a time to move on. It may seem difficult right now to think that something is ending, because we are so conditioned to find sorrow in endings.But think of it this way, the thing that is ending is perhaps a bad phase, a particularly difficult aspect of life, an end of a toxic relationship, that has left your heart aching, it is time for all that to finally come to a conclusion. And like a beautiful sunset, it gives you the grace to bid adieu.  It is the Universe telling you that you’ve had enough of something.

For every ending also means that you are on the cusp of a new beginning. And beginnings like the sunrise brings with it a feeling of renewed hope. So smile, it is time for a wonderful new phase to begin, have a little faith and know that all this is somehow part of a plan, and someday we will be able to see the dots connect, and oh boy, will it be a stunner!

I hope today is a wonderful day for you, say goodbye to your former self, your hardships, your anguish, its time to finally close that chapter.. Sleep well tonight, and get set to make tomorrow a brand new start and welcome new experiences to your life.

For what is to come, I wish you luck.

Until next time..

xo