Random Musings

Random Musings

Have you ever noticed how frail our inner peace is, one minute we find ourselves fighting with the world with all our might for someone, and the next minute sees this very person fighting with us for the world. For me the highest form of love is when I pray for someone, and often its those same people who’ve left meat the edge of a precipice. Not sure if that made any sense, but my point is this, when put our whole and soul into something (or someone), we set ourselves up for disappointment. Sounds bleak and cynical (I know), but the sooner we accept this, the more we can preserve our own inner peace. After years of praying for people who only turned around and disappeared when you have needed them most, you can’t help but be a bit more guarded.

This year, which I was utterly hopeful for, has been stressful right from the start, and in any downtime that I’ve had, I’ve been thinking about my various friendships and relationships. Some have lasted a few months, some which lasted years, but in the end when things fall apart, heartbreak is inevitable.

But such is life, I suppose. Not all our relationships are meant to last from start to finish, some are friends for a season, some are friends for a reason (the word matlabi comes to mind), some are friends who love you even when they’re not near (life!), and some even when they’re right next to you aren’t friends at all.

I kinda blame my own sentimental heart sometimes, and sometimes I forgive it. Because in the very end, all we really have is ourselves, and a few fleeting moments with people who cross our path. Sometimes that is enough, and when its not we become writers.

My own introspection this past week has brought me to this point where the ONLY thing on my mind is forgiveness. Forgive everyone, including yourself (especially yourself), and try not to be too disappointed by people. After all, we are all only human.

Peace & Good vibes



Overused words

As per the Dictionary (yes, I am someone who enjoys reading the dictionary from time to time, its also my favorite app on my phone), the word Word is a noun which is defined as a single distinct meaningful element of speech or writing, used with others (or sometimes alone) to form a sentence and typically shown with a space on either side when written or printed. 

That’s quite lovely, isn’t it.

So as someone who loves words, reading, writing, speaking, and generally everything connected to language, I find it strange when sometimes words, which are overused, just end up looking like (of feeling like) meaningless squiggles.  Even professionally, as a Lawyer, I read (and write) tens of thousands of words every day, and at times my brain tricks me into thinking that some words (overused, or most repeated) are incorrectly used/spelled or just plain nonsensical.  So much so that I HAVE to run a spell check just to be sure that I’m not using a word incorrectly.

Which brings me to my next sentiment about overusing words, while I certainly appreciate when people (or even myself) can articulate a thought well enough to get the point across, the flip side is that overused words tend to lose its effectiveness.  For example, I have a friend (who is one sweetheart of a man) who used to refer to pretty much everyone as his “close friend” or “best friend” including random strangers he has probably met only once.  I never paid too much attention to it till one day when he called me his best friend, so I was unsure whether it really meant anything, or if its just a word that he liked to use.

Often, words used by people reveal a LOT about who they are or how they feel. One only has to pay a little attention to understand what the other person is feeling.  So I’ve started to be more conscious of what I say/write, since I have caught myself over using words like random (when I can’t think of anything better), or love (instead of the more genuine sentiment of like).  This doesn’t necessarily mean that I am editing myself, or trying to be deceptive, or that am afraid to say certain things.  It is more about avoiding overusing certain adjectives/phrases to the point that it loses all meaning, and is reduced to a bunch of squiggles (or the emotional equivalent of it).  And reserving certain words for times when they deserve to be used.

Of course, the ONLY exception to this is any genuine expression of Gratitude.  Gratitude to me is an acknowledgment of not taking something for granted, and this will never seem/feel meaningless, unless done insincerely (which seems difficult).

Happy Weekend!


On Aha moments

My biggest “Aha moment” (so far) came to me towards the end of 2016 – it was when I started noticing that a lot of my set in stone principles are actually evolving to be more fluid, to be more flexible (of course, there are certain exceptions to this).This obviously came as quite a surprise to me, simply because I’ve always been quite rigid in the way I perceived life, very black & white.

I’ve been realising that life is never set in stone, everything is constantly changing, everything comes in phases, time keeps passing us by, days change to night and then night changes to day, even the sky – if you sat under the sky for a while, you will notice that the clouds keep moving and changing, nothing ever stays the same, and doesn’t physics tell us exactly that about matter as well?

Anyway, over the course of certain experiences, I’ve begun to understand that NOTHING is constant, everything keeps changing, including (and most importantly) ourselves.

Am I the same girl I was 10 years ago – No (and thank god for that!)

Does this mean I was bad/wrong 10 years ago – again No, I was the best version of myself in the circumstances which existed 10 years ago.

With my world constantly changing and evolving, I have had to adapt and evolve as well (despite my own resistance), if not for anything else, just to be able to keep up.

Such have been the nature of my Aha moments, the ones which tended to sneak up on me, most often results of quiet reflection. I guess that’s just the thing about Aha moments – it is that you never realise it at the time of the actual event, at the time you are more focused on surviving the thing that leads to the Aha moment. I guess that’s how connecting the dots work. It can only be done backwards.

My latest and most profound one is that Life is transient, no two moments are alike, what is it about a river never being able to touch the same water twice? I think life is like that as well. No two moments are alike, no two circumstances are alike, heck, we are not alike ourselves under different circumstances.

So if life is this temporary, and this ephemeral, should we hold on to our anger and pettiness? That is the question I find myself asking when my most human quality of pettiness takes over my personality in certain situations. There are a few things that can still manage to bring out the worst, most petty parts of me, and with this new realisation I wonder if any of those things that make me feel petty are even worth my energy, in the grander scheme of things.

I haven’t yet figured out all the answers, of course, sometimes I just like reveling in realisations which leave my perspectives altered forever…

Today is one such day…

Until next time, stay safe & be good.